Discovering the Impact of True Friendship in Today's World

"As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend." – Proverbs 27:17

Friendship is one of God’s greatest gifts, but not all friendships are created equal. Some friendships entertain, some encourage, and others challenge us. Proverbs 27:17 paints a powerful picture of what true friendship looks like—one that sharpens, strengthens, and refines us.

The Process of Sharpening

The imagery in this verse is vivid: iron sharpening iron. If you’ve ever seen a blacksmith at work, you know that sharpening metal isn’t a smooth or gentle process. It involves friction, heat, and sometimes even sparks flying. A dull blade doesn’t become sharp without pressure, contact, and repeated striking.

In the same way, real friendships—godly friendships—aren’t just about comfort and laughter. They include honest conversations, constructive criticism, and accountability. A true friend is not someone who simply tells you what you want to hear but someone who loves you enough to tell you what you need to hear.

Friction That Forms Character

Many of us shy away from confrontation or correction, preferring friendships that remain on the surface. But the sharpening process requires friction. This doesn’t mean being harsh or unnecessarily critical; rather, it means having the courage to challenge and refine one another in love.

The best friendships are those where both people push each other toward spiritual and personal growth. This could look like:

• Encouraging each other in faith and prayer

• Offering correction when a friend is straying from God’s path

• Speaking the truth in love, even when it’s uncomfortable

• Walking together through struggles, temptations, and trials

As commentator Bruce Waltke put it, “The analogy infers that the friend persists and does not shy away from critical, constructive criticism.” True friends don’t abandon each other when things get difficult—they sharpen one another through the trials of life.

Building Up, Not Tearing Down

The latter part of Proverbs 27:17 speaks of sharpening the “countenance” of a friend. Countenance can refer to a person’s face, their disposition, or even their overall well-being. A godly friend doesn’t just correct and challenge but also encourages, uplifts, and strengthens.

Matthew Henry writes, “Good men’s graces are sharpened by conversation with those that are good, and their wits are sharpened, as iron is upon a whetstone, by discourse.” Simply put, when we surround ourselves with wise, godly friends, we become sharper—stronger in faith, more resilient in trials, and more effective in our calling.

Choosing Friends Who Sharpen You

Not every relationship sharpens. Some dull our edge, weakening our resolve and leading us into complacency or compromise. This is why choosing godly friendships is so important.

Ask yourself:

• Do my closest friends encourage me in my walk with Christ?

• Am I allowing people to challenge me and speak truth into my life?

• Am I that kind of friend to others?

Proverbs 13:20 reminds us, “He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed.” The company we keep influences our sharpness, so we must seek friendships that refine us rather than dull us.

The Call to Be a Sharpening Friend

This proverb doesn’t just challenge us to seek out godly friendships—it calls us to be a sharpening presence in the lives of others. That means:

• Praying for our friends and their spiritual growth

• Speaking truth, even when it’s hard

• Offering encouragement in times of struggle

• Holding one another accountable in love

When we commit to sharpening one another, we fulfill God’s design for friendship. We become better versions of ourselves, ready for the battles ahead, strong in faith, and equipped to build up the body of Christ.

Conclusion: Embrace the Sharpening Process

Proverbs 27:17 teaches us that the best friendships refine us. They may involve friction, but they also bring strength, wisdom, and godly character. Instead of fearing the sparks, let’s embrace the sharpening process. Let’s be friends who encourage, challenge, and strengthen one another in the Lord.

Are you surrounding yourself with people who sharpen you? More importantly, are you being the kind of friend who sharpens others?